It's been a real mind fuck kind of day.

It started with twitter. I haven't received any twitters via SMS today.
At work I'm not allowed to access social networking sites so I won't be
able to really look into it until I get home. Being without twitter is
like 7 of 9 when she first left the consciousness of the Borg. It's so
quiet. It feels cold and disorientating it is so quiet.

In the void I welcomed a text from my dad. Until I read it. Out of the
blue...

"If u saw a porn clip & saw someone u knew would u tell anyone?"

He later told me that it was in the bottom of his favorites and hinted
at, without actually suggesting it; that I should go to his house at
lunch and check it out. He was going to be at work for a few hours
longer so I would be alone. It's not like he was asking me to come over
and watch it with him. It was weird thinking about watching some porn
that he'd already seen.

I needed to return the electric impact wrench and check in to my twitter
issue anyway, so I broke down and decided that I would go over to his
house at lunch. When I get there I walk into the garage to put away the
borrowed tool when I almost run into my mother's car.

She was home early, or as I suspected this was some sort experiment in
social behavior. That sealed the deal I wasn't going to be looking at
any porn. I didn't even check my twitter page because she wasn't doing
too well. She'd come home from work sick because of the stress she was
having trying to function in her new position at her new company. I ate
my ramen cup-o-noodles and comforted her with a listening ear.

When I get back to work I find that I've missed a call on my cell phone
from my wife. K never calls me at work. I noticed that she also text
me.

"I am so mad at you."

I had done very well at avoiding angering her in anyway for a very long
time. A fear began to boil deep within me. I had no idea what I could
have done. I began thinking this must have been a joke. I called her.
She answered. The other day when she checked into her employer provided
insurance company to see if I could be a part of her plan and she was
denied. She emailed me to explain. Evidently when I replied "Okay, Add
me to your plan when I die," It went directly to her head of benefits
who took it very seriously and was quite upset. That individual took
the issue to her supervisor the head of human resources who had there
after had a talk with K. She was made to feel as if she'd created a
hostile work environment and had no idea what had happened. I explained
to her that also didn't know what had happened.

I apologized profusely. I don't think it was enough and she doesn't
want to talk to me anymore right now. I think it's mostly because she's
at work.

The next phone call I miss is from my boss who is telling me that I was
missing a mandatory meeting that I accepted an invite to via Outlook
because I was in another building. When I get back from my fiasco of
learning my job by falling through procedures I notice that the meeting
is still going on and I try to join it.

Surprisingly they forgave me easily for that indiscretion. I was
surprised I thought for sure I was in big trouble. It could have easily
appeared to them that I simply didn't care, which is so far from the
fact.

After the meeting I felt lost and distant, unable to get back into the
groove of work and needing to put extra hours in. I want to leave early
and the plan was not to have use any vacation time.

Now the real dilemma unfolds. Do I go home at normal time to see my
presence can comfort my wife? Do I stay possibly distancing myself
further from K? She goes to class tonight and normally I take her so
she doesn't have to deal with the nightmare of finding a spot to park,
having the change for the meter or leaving early enough to park in a
free spot and have time to walk the rest of the way to class without
being late. We agreed that it wouldn't happen tonight but I thought it
might be nice, to make that one less thing she has to worry about. I
don't think I'm going to get much else done tonight. Ugh the agony.